wow. great way of putting it.

Thanks. I've had it with self-serving egotists exploiting art for their own personal gains.

--
xoxo
kitty

"this little girl breaks furniture, this little girl breaks laws"

Well, alot of people write about what they "know" and alot of people only "know" themselves...
It's reall sad, most poetry has become realy bland and all the same thanks to poets like that...

I used to be part of this "poetry community" that mostly featured people who refused to even read other poets. As one expects, their writing never evolved.

--
xoxo
kitty

"this little girl breaks furniture, this little girl breaks laws"

This is absolutely lovely. Due to my rapturous and near-orgasmic "YES" to its emotion, my critique of it as writing may be a little skewed, so take this with a grain of salt.

Poetry is not a competition
to see whose voice can out-bellow
all others.

Amen, and I know precisely what you mean.

It is not the mock elevation of baristas,
waitresses, and coffee girls.

Mmm. This likes me less, but I'm having trouble isolating why I want to say "develop this idea further", which is probably what I might say in another poem, but the structure here makes me wary of that; I don't think actually doing so would have good effect in the end. Mostly, it leaves me thinking someone outside the poetry "scene" would not understand the relevance of this stanza - but that really doesn't matter in something I have the impression is meant to be shared predominantly or solely among those who will comprehend - so I may really just be being whiny.

It is not referring to grown ass women as girls.

HAHAHA. Delicious. This is where I started purring, "someone understands" because you've effectively used something most people fail miserably at: curse/swear/"shocking" language. You not only made the point of the line, but one of the points of the piece.

Poetry is not performance.
It is not the trapeze.
Not the spotlight, limelight,
or a long, harrowing limo ride.

I keep half wanting to pick at the slightly bent grammar here, but then realizing it actually works quite well (I wanted to pick before I read on to see it woven in; I was under the misapprehension this was the only occurrence).

It is not an intricate courting dance.
Not the irridescence of peacock tails
parading by.

By the time I got here, especially after a couple more readings of the poem as a whole, I loved the grammar. It gives a lot of strength to the negatives.

Poetry is not a cockfight.
It's not a dating service for the pretentious
and absurd.

<snerk> The cockfight image keeps floating through my mind as double-entendre due to the preceding stanza. Maybe I'm just dirty, but given the quality of this poem I think the cleverness was likely intentional, and either way, it sends such a delicious dual message.

Poetry will not stop war.
Will not feed the hungry.
Will not build homes from shoddy rhyme schemes.

Again I kneel before you. Not only does the literal statement here make me laugh, not only does the structure of the short sentence lengths as well as the relentless negatives give each line still more strength, but the repetition specifically of "will not" (especially as it continues into the next stanza) echoes (but is so much stronger here) a lot of very poorly and overrepetitive poetry enough that while appreciating the strength of this piece, the reader gives a rueful chuckle in thinking of the others.

Poetry will not score you any points
for the afterlife, nor with women.
If you are an asshole, no stack of verse
will hide that fact. Poetry in its artifice
will not deliver to you a happily ever after.
It will not glue your marriage.
It will not shield you from his drunken
misogynist fist. Even if he writes poetry.

Hmm. The last line makes me want to separate and emphasize "even if he writes poetry" more somehow - italics/spacing/parentheses, whatever. I think it deserves more focus, more attention. Yet really, the flow highlights it somewhat even without, so it's just an aesthetic possibility to ponder and take it with a bushel of salt.

Poetry is not an elixir or a tool.

It is decorative, like sheer linen curtains,
and that is all.

Overall: This was an enjoyable read beyond many I've had in a long time. The rhythm is predominantly sound and tight (and I happen to be a rhythm fiend), and I enjoy the almost tongue-in-cheek portions.

--
"Before you can break the rules of rhyme and rhythm, you do have to know what those rules are about." -- John Tydeman

~Christians-QI-Team LitCrit

Hi Astridiana,

I read 'Poetry Is Not' and found it well-crafted. I liked the voice of the poem, the way it read out loud; an almost waspish tone fluctuating with calm explanation. I did find a few minor points where I thought it might be polished. Hope you don't mind, take them as you will:

Poetry is not a competition
to see whose voice can out-bellow
all others.
// To me, the break on 'bellow' isn't necessary; I'd rather read it smooth.//

It is not the mock elevation of baristas, //loved 'baristas'//
waitresses, and coffee girls. //the comma here isn't necessary//

It is not referring to grown ass women as girls. //hyphen on grown-ass//

Poetry is not performance.
It is not the trapeze. //perhaps comma here, for the sake of grammar//
Not the spotlight, limelight,
or a long, harrowing limo ride. //'long, harrowing' is the only over-modified part of this. I understand why it's there, but sonically it loses the punch-punch feel of the words around it, and brings up intrusive thoughts of -why- it might be long and harrowing ... I thought 'limo ride' alone might sound and read more cleanly.//

It is not an intricate courting dance. //comma here and 'nor' to start the next line, for grammar//
Not the irridescence of peacock tails //'iridescence'.
parading by. //this adds a touch of cliche to an otherwise nicely wrought line. Consider scrapping 'parading by', for that reason.//

Poetry is not a cockfight.
It's not a dating service for the pretentious
and absurd.

Poetry will not stop war.
Will not feed the hungry.
Will not build homes from shoddy rhyme schemes.
// I liked this. The short sentences punch out the point well, and are very appropriate here.//

Poetry will not score you any points
for the afterlife, nor with women. //semicolon//
If you are an asshole, no stack of verse
will hide that fact. Poetry in its artifice
will not deliver to you a happily ever after.
It will not glue your marriage.
It will not shield you from his drunken
misogynist fist. Even if he writes poetry.
//This is very good. Your line breaks are excellent, and the last two lines are brilliant.//

Poetry is not an elixir or a tool.

It is decorative, like sheer linen curtains,
and that is all.
//Perhaps lose the break between lines here, semicolon after 'tool', which doesn't need the 'a' before it. Otherwise a great ending. Well done.//

Thanks much for the read.

- Sal

--
LIT NEEDS SOUND

Make A Noise About It Here

no me gustan... no me gustan...

--
“You know, Catholicism, we believed in the teachings of Cathol, and everything it stood for...”
~ Eddie Izzard

Haha. Despite all the words, you seem very down to earth. I like that. And I enjoyed your poem. It really hit the nail on the head. A lot of people write poems for different reasons, some rather selfish, some not. But, in the end, it's all really just pretty words on a piece of paper. *favs*

--
It's hard to win an argument when logic is not on your side.

"We shall have a magnificent garden party, and he shall not be invited!" --Jack Sparrow

So awesome and so true. I'm fav'ing it.

--
"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."
- R.A. Heinlein

yep it's just a hobby.

--
Sounds of laughter shades of life
are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe
"Across the Universe" - The Beatles